Tuesday, November 07, 2006

Bad Mindless Days

The problem with me is that I know what's wrong with me, yet I find it difficult to solve the problem even with this knowledge that it's me that's the problem.

I know there is something absolutely wrong with my body. I'm in huge amount of discomfort but I can't bring myself to see doctor for fear of knowing what I suspect. Call it plain moronic and cowardly. Now, I'm still self-medicating myself with things that absolutely don't work.

I know there's some "stuff" simmering inside me that I have to do something about, yet when I do have the chance to do so, I just didn't. And now, I'm still tortured as ever for being an idiot for not grabbing that particular opportunity to do so.

The other day I know that I was not fit to do stuff in work, yet I persisted anyway. Now, those things I did came back with a vengeance doubling my workload. I was not trying to impress the boss or something, but this stupid ego of mine told itself that I can actually solve the problem without even consulting the people with the knowledge. (Though a voice of reason in my brain was telling me not to do it when I was doing it). Jeez, I can't just stop digging my own hole to fall on.

Bad hair days may come, but at least I have a brush to tame those renegade strands.

When my mind fesses up, the damage is just too global to contain.

I just had a bad weekend and a bad week has just begun. (sigh)